Diet/Workout Update Part II

...maybe not the best idea I ever had.

I'll leave it at that.

Image from here

Diet/Workout Update

I have no diet/workout update.

I used to have a yearning for bulging bridal biceps. I had a whole workout routine mapped out. Free weights were purchased. I had the best of intentions to actually start using them. Then things changed. Nick told me I didn't need SJP biceps. He said her arms were "huge" and "disgusting". He claimed my arms are perfect the way they are. I believed him. I got lazy. Then, the other weekend I went thrift shopping and crammed my thighs into a pair of size 2 jeans and beamed. Maybe the seams looked like they might burst when I sat down, and maybe the seamstress eyed me quizzically when I took them in for hemming... but they buttoned without giving me a muffin top, and that's what counts.

New plan: I stick to what I do best: eating chips and watching Fearnet. Then, two months before the wedding: no chips or booze. This will give my body a little time to detoxify (also, one time I went a week with no chips or booze and lost like 3 pounds. Imagine what 2 months would do!). We'll see how that goes.

So until March 30th:

Image from here

Better Than Coffee

MatéVana
I live off this stuff. Nutty, rich, and most important- caffeinated. They claim it "creates the energy (of coffee) without jitteriness or addictive tendencies". I agree. When I need a good pick-me-up sans the sometimes awkward side-effects of a nonfat latte *cough*, I whip up a cup of MatéVana and am good to go. (Plus, for the price of two large lattes you can get enough mate to make 20-30 cups.)

For those brides with weddings quickly approaching, I definitely recommend sipping some of this instead of coffee on the morning of your big day. I know I will.

Can be purchased at: Teavana.

Yearning for Bulging Bridal Biceps

The other night the fiance and I sat down to watch the premiere of HBO's new series 'True Blood'. I think it might be my new favorite show second to 'Dexter' and 'Breaking Bad'. Between bouts of sexual tension amongst the characters and the sometimes awkwardly faked accents, I couldn't help but fixate on one thing in particular (be prepared to be creeped out): Tara's amazingly toned arms. Photo from about.com

Well, hello beautiful! I know, I know, my fascination with women's arms might be construed as a little odd. I can't help myself. Lately I've just been yearning for some magnificently toned biceps to pull off my wedding day look (nevermind cellulite or buns-of-steel, just give me forearms that could put someone in a choke-hold while doing a one-armed push up and I will be delighted) .

You see, these are my biceps now:

And this what I want them to look like by May of 2009:Photo from popsugar.com

I happen to have a huge bicep crush on Sarah Jessica Parker. I can't get through an episode of 'Sex and the City' without flexing my muscles and wishing I could trade arms with Carrie Bradshaw. I'm not expecting any miracles- just to have arms even half as nice a hers would suffice. I just need to lose a little fat and add a little definition- mainly in my deltoids and triceps.Photo from iemily.com

Here are two of my favorite arm and shoulder exercises:

The Toned Arms Plan

Tone Your Arms- in 10 Minutes!

If you want a good workout I suggest checking them out and picking a routine to do a few times a week (if you want a good tongue twister just try repeating "Bulging Bridal Biceps" ten times in a row).

Also, I'm lucky enough to have On Demand through Comcast and they have some great free workout videos in their health & fitness section (including some videos made especially for brides. I recommend Violet Zaki).

So here's my tentative plan:

-cardio (in the form of jogging or hiking) 2-3 times a week

-10 minutes of freeweights or resistance band a night

-drink plenty of water and have a (mostly)healthy diet

-do at least 2 OnDemand workout videos a week

I will keep you updated with pics of my progress. Wish me luck!

The Dreaded "D" Word

I decided that since I picked out a slinky sheath-style wedding gown it would be in my best interest to...*gulp*... diet.

Yes, diet.

The dreaded "D" word.

To be honest, I'm on unfamiliar grounds here. While I may ocassionally talk myself out of purchasing a tub of Ben & Jerrys at the grocery store, I don't really know what it means to actually diet. You know, the kind of diet that lasts more than two days and takes real willpower... willpower that I do not have. As long as I can remember I think I've only tried to diet once. My friend Ginny gave me a copy of this detox diet that was only supposed to last a week.

One. Measly. Week.


Well I lasted a whole two days until I got deathly ill and decided losing weight just wasn't worth it. Not that way at least. I'm not so much interested in losing a ton of weight in a hurry as I am in developing an overall healthy lifestyle (can you tell that advice came straight from the mouth of a dietitian?).

I need to learn self control. You see, I have a problem and it looks a little bit like this:




Actually, it looks exactly like that. I cannot stop myself from eating them. I crave salt the way people crave chocolate. I need it. I love it. You could give most women truffles and they would love you forever (well, I would love you forever if they were Moonstruck truffles). If you gave me a fresh pack of Salt & Vinegar Stax I would love you forever and then some! That, or a bag of Roasted Salted Almonds... or even the salty rim of cold margarita would suffice (I have blood pressure so high it would make even Kristy Alley shudder!).

Plus: salt= water retention= bloated= unfortunate looking curves under a hip-hugging sheath gown.

You see where I'm going with this? I need a salt intervention!

So I guess I should rephrase this. I'm not going on a diet per se (because who the heck do I think I'm kidding?), I'm going to learn how to have a healthy diet (wait... isn't that the same as going on a diet? I think I've been tricked!).

I've got my mantra all picked out. I will just repeat "sheath dress, sheath dress, sheath dress, heart attack!" whenever I peer wistfully down the snack aisle at the grocery store. (I'm guessing this has a 15% chance of actually working)



Ugh, now I'm craving chips.