Monday, August 25, 2008

The Dreaded "D" Word

I decided that since I picked out a slinky sheath-style wedding gown it would be in my best interest to...*gulp*... diet.

Yes, diet.

The dreaded "D" word.

To be honest, I'm on unfamiliar grounds here. While I may ocassionally talk myself out of purchasing a tub of Ben & Jerrys at the grocery store, I don't really know what it means to actually diet. You know, the kind of diet that lasts more than two days and takes real willpower... willpower that I do not have. As long as I can remember I think I've only tried to diet once. My friend Ginny gave me a copy of this detox diet that was only supposed to last a week.

One. Measly. Week.

Well I lasted a whole two days until I got deathly ill and decided losing weight just wasn't worth it. Not that way at least. I'm not so much interested in losing a ton of weight in a hurry as I am in developing an overall healthy lifestyle (can you tell that advice came straight from the mouth of a dietitian?).

I need to learn self control. You see, I have a problem and it looks a little bit like this:

Actually, it looks exactly like that. I cannot stop myself from eating them. I crave salt the way people crave chocolate. I need it. I love it. You could give most women truffles and they would love you forever (well, I would love you forever if they were Moonstruck truffles). If you gave me a fresh pack of Salt & Vinegar Stax I would love you forever and then some! That, or a bag of Roasted Salted Almonds... or even the salty rim of cold margarita would suffice (I have blood pressure so high it would make even Kristy Alley shudder!).

Plus: salt= water retention= bloated= unfortunate looking curves under a hip-hugging sheath gown.

You see where I'm going with this? I need a salt intervention!

So I guess I should rephrase this. I'm not going on a diet per se (because who the heck do I think I'm kidding?), I'm going to learn how to have a healthy diet (wait... isn't that the same as going on a diet? I think I've been tricked!).

I've got my mantra all picked out. I will just repeat "sheath dress, sheath dress, sheath dress, heart attack!" whenever I peer wistfully down the snack aisle at the grocery store. (I'm guessing this has a 15% chance of actually working)

Ugh, now I'm craving chips.


Anonymous said...

My words of wisdom are to modify your food intake.What I mean be modifying your food in take is find healthier alternatives to your craved foods.I try to buy healthier versions of my favorite chips and chocolate items.If you look in the Organic section of your local grocery store and look for "baked" chips that might help with the salt craving.My Achilles heel this time of the year is chocolate ice cream so I have my freezer stocked with Fudgsicles.Exercise is also key...though it is a pain (literally at times)in the rear quarters.Good luck though I seen your pics and you do not look like you need to lose weight.

Elizabeth said...

Hello Amanda!

I just lost 40 pounds for the upcoming weddings and I'm in the best shape of my life. It really took a complete lifestyle change. The trick is never to deny your cravings.

You seem to have a weakness for salty foods. May I suggest pretzels? They're super low in fat, and you can dip them in any condiment. I have pretzels with BBQ sauce, pretzels with yogurt, pretzels with chocolate, pretzels with mustard...

And bride2b is right. Exercise is key. May I suggest buying Buff Brides? The book has some great tips and helps you focus on target areas.


Echo said...

I am right there with you. lol. I love cookies WAAAAY too much! Add to that, I've had three kids and the stupid pooch won't go away.

I say skip the diet and buy some Spanx. lol jk!

Riley (aka Rachel) said...

Well, echo has a point about the spanx.... actually, the Dr. Rey shapewear that they sell on HSN is pretty good (I have a couple pieces!).

"Diets" are hard. I think what's even more is realizing that as you get older not only do you start getting bumps and lumps where you didn't have them before, but that they don't go away so easily. And that your body reacts differently than it did! It's so depressing - it's like a huge slap in the face "You're getting older!!!" (and then insert evil laugh here).
If I were you, I would start small - for instance, cut out the chips for a week. After that, just add to it - you could then cut out french fries or something. I've found that if you do it that way, it's easier to manage. And don't forget - it's okay to cheat every once in a while (no more than once a week). Just get back to "the diet" after that!
Working out also is a big help!